Come Fly with Me

In delay there lies no plenty, present mirth hath present laughter.

Shirley Jackson,

It’s many years since British Airways could claim the title of the “World’s Favourite Airline”. Constant cost-cutting has led to poor service, fewer on-time arrivals, and horrendous IT failures. In my time flying with BA, some mishaps come to mind.

There was a time that the steps to the plane wouldn’t move as their battery was flat. It meant the plane couldn’t move, so we sat on the tarmac for an age.

Or the time we had to pull off the taxiway in Rome as the printer on the flight deck had run out of paper. So again, we sat there for a long time while a car was despatched to deliver said paper to the plane.

BA had only one person boarding the plane on another occasion in Rome. The operation took so long that our plane missed its original slot. That delay ended up being an hour and a half.

Some examples of delays because of trivial issues that one would not expect from a so-called prestigious airline.

After several such incidents, I decided to try out other airlines some years ago. It was a decision I did not regret. Indeed, several airlines now offer a comparable in-flight service to BA for short-haul at a competitive price and better on-time arrival.

Once upon a time, the cabin crew always came to rescue BA’s reputation when delays occurred. Based on my recent experience, not anymore. I know that in-flight meals are long gone. The announcement made on my flight was the offer of a complimentary “snack and a soft drink”. A fun-size packet of crisps and bottle of water were then delivered with little decorum. You might call that a snack and a soft drink in the marketing department. But not me.

So, why did I go back to them? Because the price compared to other carriers was about the same once I factored in putting luggage in the hold. The BA flight departure was also more convenient, and I could quickly get to Heathrow by public transport.

So, surpassing my fears, I bought my tickets. Three weeks later, BA changed the time of my outward flight. From 12:45 to 10:00. Not the end of the world, you might say. Not when you factor in my train journey to London and the Heathrow Express. Given train times from my hometown, I would now not arrive in time for check-in/bag drop. It would therefore need to be an overnight stay near Heathrow. At least I have so many ‘loyalty’ points gained from my working days that such a hotel stay would be free.

My destination was Italy, which has stricter COVID rules than the UK. Two days before my flight, I received an email from BA. It was a request to upload my passenger locater form and NHS Covid ‘Green card’. If I did not do so, I would not be able to check-in. I, therefore, duly did so. BA acknowledged receipt and conferred they would check the documentation. Eight hours later, an email arrived from BA to tell me one of the documents was missing. Umm, no, I thought, they are both there.

Nevertheless, as the email from BA asked, I repeated the upload process. I then received a message telling me I could only upload once. OK, fine, but why then ask me to upload them again?

Other airlines offer an online chat facility if you have a query or wish to make a change to a booking. I have used such recently with another airline to sort out an issue. It took 5 minutes to rectify with my ‘chat’ person guiding me through what I needed to do. Quick and painless. Sadly, BA does not offer such a facility. Ah, I thought. I’ll call them. No chance. After navigating five options on their CRM system, a pre-recorded voice told me the wait time was more than 30 minutes, and the call abruptly ended. A few hours later, I tried again. Same result.

Despite my allegedly missing documentation, I did indeed attempt online check-in when it opened. No problem ensued, and within moments I had downloaded my boarding card.

After my overnight stay in the airport hotel, I duly arrived at BA’s bag drop in Heathrow. It was a slick operation conducted without human interaction on the part of BA. Good, I thought. Moments later, I received an email from BA. It again told me that one of the documents I needed to upload was missing, and this would prevent check-in. With a little chuckle to myself at good old BA’s IT, I ignored the email and went off in search of breakfast.

My flight to Naples was on time. However, it was the return that confirmed all my fears about BA.

I have flown from Naples airport many times with several airlines. I accept that it is not easy to manage a coordinated boarding, given the cramped space at the gates. A melee tends to form rather than an orderly queue. The different classes of ‘Speedy Boarding’, Club Europe, Eurotraveller etc have no meaning there. It’s very much a case of first come, first served. On this occasion, BA also decided that having one shuttle bus to take a full aeroplane of people was sufficient. It patently wasn’t. By the time we boarded, with the shuttle bus travelling back and forward from gate to plane, we were already 25 minutes late.

Despite the pilot’s reassurance as we left Naples, the flight made up none of that delay. As we taxied off the runway at Heathrow, the joyous news greeted us from the flight-deck that another plane occupied our stand, so we would have to wait. And wait, we did. For close to half an hour. With little information and zero empathy from the cabin crew. All that was offered was the instruction that we remain seated for safety reasons. As frustration grew, that reason then changed to remaining seated to adhere to Covid distancing rules (eh? we were already sitting cheek by jowl). As time passed, a ripple of heightened anxiety went through the plane. It was from those passengers transferring to a flight to the USA. Except there wasn’t going to be a connecting flight as it was soon to be on its way. With that recognition, the agitation in the cabin went up a notch.

The misery continued when we finally got to a stand to find no staff to connect the airbridge. More time passed, notching up further the frustration and agitation.

Hurrah, at last, around 45 minutes after we landed (and don’t forget that was 25 minutes late), disembarkation followed. But, of course, some of us could not relax yet. We still needed our hold luggage.

When I arrived at the luggage carousel it was to join an already growing group of people from my flight. What there wasn’t was any luggage. That took another 30 minutes to arrive, so in all, I left the terminal for the Heathrow express close to two hours after our scheduled landing time. Almost the length of the flight from Naples.

Some may remember the funny airline abbreviations of years ago. Some I recall were AA (American Airlines) — Always Awful, ALITALIA — Always Late in Take-off Always Late in Arrival, PAN AM — Plan on Arriving Nerve wracked And Mad, TWA — Try Walking Across.

And British Airways? … Bloody Awful …….